Guess what? Chicken butt.

Somehow, last night, I chipped my tooth on a chicken's asshole. There's a Korean dish called ddong jip, which literally translates to "shit house." I'm not sure exactly which part of the chicken's rectum it is, but it's just little bits of chewy innards. It was my first time trying it, and I don't think I'll have it again. It wasn't horrible, but it was a little shitty. Anyway, one of my chicken assholes had something hard in it, and I chipped my tooth on it! It's not bad, but I can definitely feel a little chunk missing.

I also learned last night a little about something called ddong chim, which translates to "shit needle." Basically, this is where someone puts their hands together with their two index fingers sticking out, and they poke their fingers into someone's ass. I already knew about it and had a student try to do it to me the other day (can you imagine a kid doing that to a teacher in America?), but I had no idea that chim means needle. That makes it a little more disgusting, somehow. Here's a good blog entry that goes in depth about Korea's shit culture.

I ended up staying out until past 6:00 AM last night. I hadn't done that in a while. We started out at a makoli (Korean rice wine) restaurant, where we ate the chicken ass and drank. Then, we roamed around to various bars, and I somehow managed to drink for free all night. I guess people were feeling generous. Also, some greasy Scotsman was trying to get a local girl all boozed up, so he kept ordering jug after jug of soju-pomegranate cocktails, which I took advantage of. Fortunately, the girl escaped unbesmirched.

This afternoon, I met up with some pals, and we played "pocketball." It's kind of funny how some of the English words that Koreans adopt aren't really correct, but the foreigners often use them anyway. "Pocketball" just means pool, and at one point, I couldn't help but laugh because my friends and I were all just calling it pocketball. Also, at the pool hall, my friend asked the owner of the coffee was "service," which is Konglish for "free." Except, Koreans can't really say Vs, so they pronounce it "suh-bi-suh."

At the pool hall, I met a Korean woman who lives in Texas. She's just visiting. Then, her nephew came in, and he was one of my students! Small world, huh?

Frownland

Feeling much better today. I've really been fiending for coffee lately, which is a problem because my coffee maker is in Daejeon. I've bought $4 coffees from Starbucks the last two days. This must stop. Anyway, I was thinking about lounging around my apartment all day, but my craving for coffee got the best of me, so I walked to Starbucks, and I'm really glad I did. The weather is beautiful! I guess I've gotten used to the cold weather, because I just checked, and the high today was 43 degrees. But it was nice and sunny, and my mood improved about 100%. Add to that the caffeine coursing through my veins, and now I'm feeling "on top of the world."

Also, I've really been "rocking out" to this album lately:



I'm also feeling very "inspired." Sometimes I'll watch a movie that really makes me want to want to make a movie. Today, I watched a movie called Frownland. It actually wasn't very good, but it was really low-budget and seemed like something I would be capable of making. Except, you know, mine would be better.



This trailer isn't really a good representation of the movie. The trailer shows pretty much all of the frantic moments of the movie. For the most part, it's really boring. Not much happens, and the lead actor spends most of the movie rubbing his face, stuttering, and opening his mouth like he's about to say something but then deciding not to.

Even if they're not very entertaining, I'm glad that some of these kinds of low/no-budget movies are available for people to watch (even if only 0.0001% of the population would ever care about watching them). I've been scribbling down ideas all afternoon. Most of them are probably shit, but that's okay. I wish I were in a position to make the kinds of movies I want to make right now, but I guess it's not so bad for me to wait. No one really makes any great art (especially films) until they're in their 30s or 40s (of course there are exceptions).

I feel like my writing skills have really gone to shit since high school. Even in college, most of the stuff I wrote was pretty bad. I just figured out the formula for writing a "good" essay. But I guess a blog is supposed to be kind of stream-of-consciousness anyway. I just feel like this is hardly readable sometimes.

Drank a couple beers (on an empty stomach) in the course of writing this and doing other miscellaneous internet things. Now I'm feeling this kind of strange caffeine/alcohol buzz. I don't know what to do with myself these days. I have so much free time, and I spend almost all of it alone. I think that's why I've been drinking so much coffee lately. I want these substances to relieve my boredom. I guess they do, but it's ultimately not a very satisfying way to live one's life. Oh well. I'll be busy again soon.

Last week

I've got two days of camp left. Today, we played Monopoly, and I kicked all those 10-year-olds' asses! There's a pair of really cute twins in my class, and when one of them landed on my hotel, she put her hands on her head and screamed as loud as she could. It was hilarious and adorable. There's also this obnoxious kid, and whenever he had to pay me $1000 I laughed in his face and showed no mercy.

The kids really like me because all we do is play games. At first, during break time, they went off and did their own things, but now they climb all over me and ask me questions.

Although camp's going well, I've been feeling kind of down this week. It's been really boring finishing work at 12:30, coming home to an empty apartment, and not speaking to anyone else for the rest of the day. I know it may seem like it's really exciting here to some of my friends back home, but in reality, it's pretty lonely and alienating a lot of the time. I'm definitely looking forward to going back to an Anglophone country.

This is my last weekend in Chuncheon. Next Tuesday, I'm going back to Daejeon to sort out my visa stuff. Then, I'm going to Manila on Friday. I'm getting excited.

Seoul

Seoul last weekend was a lot of fun. I met up with my friend, Michelle, from Daejeon. We had some Mexican food, which is something I'm always craving. I think I'm gonna have to eat about five full meals a day when I visit home to make up for all the stuff I've been craving.

After dinner, we went to a soju bar where we met some really friendly Koreans who were having a birthday party. They shared some cake and soju with us. It was a lot of fun chatting with them. One of them looked like Harry Potter. It was adorable. Another said that her uncle produces Kim Ki-duk (a really good Korean director) movies, which would be a pretty random lie, so I guess it's true. But damn. If I spoke Korean, I would have asked for a hookup. Working in the Korean film industry would be pretty bad ass.

Then, we went to my friend Mike's party, which was held in a funk/soul bar called "Diggin." They had little dancing James Brown dolls on the bar.

After Diggin, we went to some other place just down the street. Even though the music was much worse, I had a better time dancing there. I went pretty "nuts."

Some other people moved on to another bar, but by this time, it was about 3:30 AM, so Michelle and I decided to split. We tried to find a nearby jim-jil-bang, which is like a bathhouse with hot and cold pools, saunas, and rooms for sleeping, but we ended up kind of lost. Then it started snowing! So, we finally found a different jim-jil-bang and went in for the night. I took a little dip in a hot tub before I hit the hay, which was nice.

By the time I made it up to the sleeping room, all the mats were taken, so I had to sleep on the floor in a corner. Korean men are absolutely disgusting. There was such a symphony of snoring, farting, belching, hacking, and grunting going on in that room that it's a miracle I fell asleep at all. Also, starting at 6 AM, someone's cell phone alarm started ringing and kept ringing and ringing and ringing. Jesus Christ, this is one of the most obnoxious Korean habits I've witnessed. People just leave their phones around, and then, either their alarms continually ring, or someone calls them repeatedly. I know all the horrible ring tones of the people in my office at school by heart because they all get no less than ten phone calls a day while they're in class. And all ten of those are probably by the same person. If a Korean person calls and you don't answer, they inevitably call back another time or two (and let it ring for a whole minute). If you didn't answer the first time, is it really likely that you'll answer the next time, or the next? AAAAAH!

Sorry, kinda got off on a tangent there. But Koreans and cell phones. Ugggh. Anyway, I maybe got a couple hours of sleep, total, but in the morning, I showered and lounged around in the scalding hot pools, which was nice. There's nothing quite like being the only white guy in a room of 50 naked Korean men.

Last night, when I got back into Chuncheon, I was feeling pretty beat, so I went to bed at 6 PM. I woke up this morning at 7:45 feeling like a million bucks (about 1.1 billion won).

Camp was good today. We played board games with the first class, and the second class did other various activities. I was a little worried that the kids would be bored with the game I had planned since they're older than the first group, but they really loved it, and one girl even asked if we could play it again tomorrow.

Often, Korean students choose English names for themselves. One of my kids is named "Micolfepus." The first time I saw it on his nametag, I wasn't really sure what to make of it, so I asked him. It's basically the Korean version of "Michael Phelps." Yeah.

Anyway, that's all for now. So long.

Barf Day

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 23. I went out for dinner and a few drinks with friends, and it was really pleasant. They even bought me a cake.

My first (half) week of camp is over. Things are still going well. Yesterday, a newspaper photographer came in to take pictures of me while I was teaching. I don't understand the newspaper's affinity for me. I'm only doing my job. They should leave me alone.

I'm going to play screen golf in about an hour.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Seoul because a pal from Austin is having a birthday party. Should be fun.

I got nothing to say.

Camp

Today was my first day of elementary camp. After having a week and a half off of work, I was really dreading going back. Plus, I was a little nervous because I've never taught elementary kids before, and I had to go to a new school. It always takes a little time to get adjusted. But my worries were unfounded. Things went swimmingly. The kids were amazing and totally adorable. They were so enthusiastic about everything! It made me excited about teaching younger kids next year. I don't know why people become horrible when they enter middle school.

After class, I walked and talked with a group of the students, and it was really sweet. There was a fair amount of "BYYYYEEEE," and then, once I was half-a-block away, "JUSTIN!!! BYE, TEACHER!!!!" but it wasn't as obnoxious as when the middle schoolers do it.

On Sunday, I went to Daejeon because I had to meet up with the director of my new school so we could renew my visa. Well, it turned out to be a big waste of time because once we got to the immigration office, we found out that since I'm still working under my old contract, I can't transfer the visa yet. So, I have to go back in two weeks after I finish the camp. This turns out to be a real pain in the balls because I had planned on flying to Manila the day after camp ended. Supposedly, it'll take two days for my visa to "process," so I have to reschedule my flight. It's gonna cost me an extra $100 or so, but I guess I have no choice.

The trip to Daejeon wasn't a complete waste, though. I had a good time "chilling" with my friend, Michelle. We ate some three-year-old kimchi, which is like regular kimchi but three times funkier. We also had some delicious Indian food. I find detailing what I eat is the easiest way to chronicle my life.

I spent most of the afternoon on Monday walking around town. I think I'll be quite happy in Daejeon. It's no Seoul or Busan (for better or worse), but compared to Chuncheon, there are so many things.

Oh yeah, also, my new boss seems like a really sweet guy. He was mild mannered and wore a floral button-up shirt. He bought me breakfast too. When the people at immigration told us we were wasting our time, he was like, "w/e." However, he owns the hagwon with his wife, and since he seems like such a pushover, I hope that doesn't mean that his wife is one bad bitch.

I left some stuff with my friend in Daejeon for "storage." I'm kinda regretting leaving my coffee maker. I've got a hankering.

Job Update

So, I think I've got a new job. After slogging through dozens of e-mails from scummy recruiters and seeing several phone interviews never materialize, I've found what seems like a pretty decent job. I had an interview the the director today. He seemed like an all right guy. He said that his hagwon has been voted one of the top 30 hagwons in the country. I don't know how to verify that, so I'm just gonna assume he was telling the truth. I also talked to the current foreign teacher there, and he had only good things to say. He said this is the best school - public or private - that he's worked in, and that the apartment is nice. However, I'm pretty sure the director was hovering over him the entire time we were on the phone, so it's hard to know whether or not he was telling the truth.

One good thing about the job is that it's an after-school program that is tied to one particular public elementary school, and the principal of that school is also the director of the hagwon. So, I don't think I should have to worry about getting stiffed on my pay. Seems pretty up-and-up, but, again, it's hard to know for sure.

I'm supposed to visit the school and fill out all my paperwork on Tuesday.

This week has been pretty great. I'm sad that it's already Friday. I've spent most days sitting around in my underwear, drinking coffee and eating bananas. You better believe that my digestive tract has had a proper cleansing. You can't really buy bananas in small bunches at E-Mart, so I got a big ol family size bunch, and I've been eating two a day. I've got bananas coming out the wazoo, quite literally. I wish I could be on vacation forever.

On Tuesday, I went out with some of my "bros" for dakgalbi and beers. It was a lot of fun just sitting around and chatting. Around 3 AM, we tried to visit a "hostess bar," which is just a regular bar except that cute girls are paid to talk to you. I've never been to one. Each place we tried to enter turned us away because it was 3 in the damn morning on Tuesday, and they were closing. So, we went to a convenience store and drank some beers there. I recently learned that there's actually a phrase in Korean for drinking in or outside of convenience stores (they often have chairs and tables set up outside). It's called "nanjang." One of my friends bought a Sam Adams, and I had a few sips and realized just how shitty Korean beer is. After a year of drinking Hite and Cass, I'd forgotten what a real beer tastes like. It was heavenly.

Anyway, it's Friday, and all I've eaten today is a couple of bananas and a peanut butter sandwich, so I'm ready to go out and stuff myself full of meat. I might eat a whole pig.

That's all for now. Ta-ta.

Ice

On Saturday, a couple pals and I went to the Hwacheon Ice Festival. Hwacheon is just outside of Chuncheon. It was pretty fun. I was excited to ice skate because I'd never done it before. It got kind of boring after about 10 minutes, though.





I also fell on the ice with my camera in my pocket and screwed up the LCD screen. It still takes pictures okay, but I can't see the screen at all. For a while after I broke it, half of the screen worked, but now it's all dead. I was planning on buying a new camera soon anyway because this one takes lots of fuzzy pictures, but I wish I hadn't destroyed it. That's the second one in six months. I gotta be more careful. I especially wish it were working at full capacity because I'm going to the Philippines in about three weeks.















These little robotic bears were pulling carts full of people, and I couldn't stop laughing. It looked so bizarre. I took some video that I wish I could post, but I screwed up when I transferred the files to my computer. Oh well. Just imagine that thing goose-stepping like a robot.









We went ice fishing with these rods that look like fly swatters but didn't catch anything. I saw a few fish swim by my hole, but they didn't take the bait. I learned the art of ice fishing. You've got to flick the fly swatter up and down so that your shiny bait looks like a swimming fish. Pretty fascinating, huh?



I stole this picture (as well as some others - the ones that actually look good) from my friend, Sarah. She's a master photographer.







After fishing, we were hungry, cold, and a little annoyed that we didn't catch any dinner. So, we ate some tasty pork instead.



Then, we walked to the bus station. Across the street, there was a PC room called "KILL PC," so we made fools of ourselves and posed for pictures. There ended up being a big line for the bus back to Chuncheon, and we missed the first one. So, seeing as how we had some time to kill, we bought some beer and soju from the convenience store across the street.





I actually had a lot of fun sitting outside the bus terminal, drinking and taking photos. I could've stayed there all night.

Once we got back to Chuncheon, we were feeling a little well-sauced, so we decided to continue the festivities and head to a bar. We sat around and chatted with each other and the bartenders, and it was really pleasant. But then I had a little too much to drink and began to act like an asshole. I'm not at all a violent person, but I started pestering my friend to fight with me. Pretty stupid, but I just wanted a friendly boxing match. Especially stupid because he's really strong, and I'm a weakling. Anyway, we left the bar, and he got sick of me pretending I wanted to "kick his ass," so he socked me and I hit the ground hard. I don't know exactly how it happened, but he punched me in the back of the head (maybe I turned?), and I got a little cut. So, we went to the pool hall where he works, and we performed some first aid. I felt like a real sack of shit because he was so upset. I wasn't angry with him. I ASKED him to do it! But he took it very harshly.

Anyway, I spent most of the day at home today, and I'm already recovering. The bump on my head is shrinking.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to have a phone interview for a new job. I don't know, though. It seems kind of sketchy, because the first guy I talked to said I'd have my interview on "Monday or Tuesday between 1 and 2." Well, they didn't call today, so I hope they call tomorrow. Seems like they should have set a definite time. Eh, we'll see. I hope I get the job, though. I'm sick of searching.

Yesterday, I started reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I'm surprised how much I'm loving it. I haven't read a book this good in a long time.

*Post deleted due to stupidity*

He's Resting

Today was the last day of my middle school camp. Thank god. The first week was okay, but this week, I had no internet. Not to mention, there was no running water, the printers didn't work, my classroom was freezing, and my co-teachers were usually nowhere to be found. Fortunately, the boys behaved like princes. A lot of my plans involved the internet (including a project the kids were supposed to do in the computer lab, which went surprisingly well the first week but had to be scrapped this week). So, finally, I gave up and started watching movies with them. If the school doesn't care enough to provide basics like running water, then I don't care either. Of course, the kids didn't mind watching movies and playing board games all day.

I just had another bowl of swine spine stew (I love that stuff), and now I'm sitting in my toasty apartment. I took all my stuff from my school. I didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone. I'm feeling pretty resentful toward the whole Korean public school system. I think this camp was pretty indicative of how schools set up foreign teachers for failure. They put too much faith in us. They don't realize that we have no idea what the fuck is going on most of the time.

Basically, I'm glad to be getting out of the system. I know private schools have their own share of problems, but I'm willing to take the risk.

Speaking of which, the job hunt ain't going so well. I may have to settle of a job somewhere other than Busan. Actually, I just got an e-mail about a position in Ulsan as I was writing this, but I don't think I'm ready to concede and move somewhere I don't want to just yet.

I think I'll become a hermit next week. I've got the whole week off, so I'm gonna try to stay home and out of the cold as much as possible. I'm a little anxious about my elementary school camp. For one thing, I'll be with a co-teacher at all times, which is kind of a good thing, but it also gives me less of a chance to goof off (why do I still feel like I'm a school kid?).

I found a couch surfer for my first few days in Manila. He seems like a really cool guy. He's an artist, and he said he's gonna show me how to eat balut (fertilized duck eggs) and all kinds of other crazy shit.



Thanks to my friend who recommended this delightful song without even realizing it.

One last thing: Yesterday afternoon, I took a nap and had a lucid dream that I was driving a "bad ass" car. Like, I knew I was dreaming, and for some reason, out of all the cool things I could have dreamed of, I chose to dream that I was driving a bad ass car. I was driving like a madman. This is strange because I don't know or care about cars. Hmm.

Another meandering organ-based ditty:

Snow

Last weekend, I visited to Daejeon. I attended a "masquerade" party, which was a little awkward at first because I didn't know anyone, but it ended up being pretty fun. It was nice meeting a whole new group of foreigners, some of whom were pretty cool, and others who were at least interesting (fun to laugh at).





I made some crappy cat mask with googly eyes all over it.



A few of us limbo-ed.



I went into a bar with a giant cock hanging from the ceiling. Actually, I only went in there for long enough to take a picture because it was really crowded.





I feel like this picture really speaks to me. If I were really planning on getting a tattoo, I'd probably get this.



It's pretty cool that you can buy packs of sparklers at grocery stores in Korea for 50 cents.

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun, and it made me really glad I'm getting out of Chuncheon and moving onto a bigger city. Don't get me wrong, Chuncheon is a nice, quaint place, but it's kind of stifling. Maybe it was just because there were so many foreigners around that it felt more "real" and less like "being in Korea." I guess "being in Korea" is okay, but I'm kinda over it.

Anyway, it's been snowing like a mother fucker. I've never seen snow like this. Here are some pictures I took on Saturday. The snow is actually higher now because it's been snowing all day, but I don't want to go back outside to take pictures.





I took these from my apartment.







I think I need to buy a new camera, which is a real bummer because I just got this one four or five months ago. But I screwed up by buying the cheapest one available. Half of my pictures are blurry. It's frustrating.

I started my second week of winter camp today. The boys are real angels.

I've got next week off. Originally, I was supposed to teach some teachers' classes, but no one signed up (thank god). Officially, all foreign teachers should come in to sit on their asses for 8 hours a day if they're not teaching camp, but I've saved up several (10, actually) sick days, and my co-teacher said it would be okay for me to stay home. Assa!

New year, same shit.

Well, it's 2010. Nothing has changed.

Last night, I ate some delicious Korean beef. Then, I went to a New Year's "shindig" where I was awarded a can of tuna. Then, I went to the same boring ass bar I always go to. What a life I lead.

This year, I've decided to get a tattoo to express my individuality and my dedication to subverting the status quo. I've narrowed my options down to two. Let me know which one you like best.